Shooting Rocks and Escape Earbuds in the Rain

May 26, 2019





I decided this morning I was not going to let this lawn go more than a week again because I do not want to be “that” neighbor…. I have one of those and versus joining the ranks of avoider mowstresses, I made a promise to myself. It is hot today, or rather it was when I started mowi-running so I threw on a pair of shorts, a hot pink top (relevant in a bit), and my air pods in and started to mow-run. I was bound and determined I was going to increase my time so I made a decision immediately… my time will not be based on the whacking but only the mowing. It seems I continue to run into obstacles regarding the whacking so I am taking that piece out of it.


Anyway, I started out and my time was good, I have some consistent patterns going now and have figured out which routes I can take to get the most grass in one sweep. You may laugh at this but it is a real thing. If you look at these pictures of my landscape you will understand. My rocks are awesome and look nice but definitely create some obstacles.





And I learned something else today, my rocks shoot. Up until now I have been super careful not to mow the rocks but I was concentrating on my run time so may have shot a few rocks. I know Mom, no need to say it, I will be more careful, I could take an eye out… got it.


As I am mowing along, singing and running, I realize about half way through that I only have sound in one ear and what do you know, I lost a stupid Ibud…..grrrr. Remember, it is hot, I am sweaty because I am running, and darn if that thing didn’t just slide right out of my ear without me noticing. So of course, I have to stop and walk up and down my yard several times destroying any hopes of a decent time, and still don’t find it. Sadness!!!! With my luck the mower ate it with the rocks it kept eating. I am sure my neighbors were wondering what I was doing when I got on my hands and knees in the grass to see if I could see it… but no luck.


At this point I am mad, thirsty, sweaty and determined I am not going to let the shooting rocks or the escape earbud destroy the start of a really good time so I grab a bottle of water, put my remaining Ibud in the garage and start for the backyard. And no, for those wondering, I still have not cleaned up the poop… you have to work up to these kinds of things. I did buy one of those poop shovel things, I just haven’t used it yet. I’m not sure it will help with my poop paranoia.





So I am mowing away in the backyard, just singing to myself since I am earbudless. For the record, trying to sing and run is hard to do. About halfway through the back yard, don’t I feel a drop. I attempt to convince myself it was sweat because I will be damned if I am not finishing this mowerrun. I do notice that my sunglasses have sweat on the outside and this point so throw them on the porch still trying to convince myself that it is NOT raining out. Question for all mowers and mowstresses… should you have your mower in the rain??? Anyway, if this was sweat, then there was something medically wrong because it was pouring down my face so I literally begin to run trying to finish this yard. If my neighbors looked out I am sure they got quite a chuckle. Did I mention that I had a dark pink shirt on??? I wore a black dress to church earlier and kept the same undergarments on so damn if I now wasn’t flashing the neighbors as well. Needless to say, pretending it was not raining, pretending I was not giving the neighbors some kind of horrible peep show, I finished that yard in 55 minutes…. YES I DID….and cut a whopping 15 minutes off my time even looking for that earbud three times. I am now showered, changed, and as I sit here typing hear a bird singing and see that the sun is shining…. Of course it is! Guess I will go back out to weed whack and look for the escape earbud.